Manners, They Are Your Friend; The Great Toilet Seat Debate

It's been going on for quite some time. I suspect that it's been going on since about a week after the modern-day toilet seat was first released to the general public. You know exactly what I'm talking about, too.

The Toilet Seat; Up Or Down?

Every woman will tell you that it belongs down, no questions asked. Some are more fickle about whether or not the lid should be down, too. Every man will tell you that it belongs up. I don't think they much care about the lid.

Women are always saying that, since they have to use the john with the toilet seat down, it should stay that way. Wouldn't want to risk falling in or anything, right?

Men are always saying that, since they have to use the john with the toilet seat up, it should stay that way. I'm not quite sure what their side of the argument is and I'm not really inclined to ask, lest it involves other bodily functions. Either way, that's how it's been for decades and how it will probably continue.

I, on the other hand, will tell you that I don't give two hoots either way.

If the toilet seat is down, fine, one less thing to think about, I suppose. However, if the toilet seat is up, I have two arms and a heartbeat and I'm perfectly capable of putting it down. I don't understand where all the fuss is, on that front. Women make men go through the added step of adjusting the loo to suit their needs, why can't women? In the interest of equality and all.

Having said that, while I have no complains on the positioning of the seat, I do have a complaint about one aspect of sharing a toilet (And I suspect this is all at the fault of males).

Drops on the seat.

I appreciate that whomever the culprit(s) is, they're probably trying to leave the seat down for the female users. But, seriously, how can you have aim that bad? I shouldn't have to bring disinfectant to the loo with me and do a quick clean-up before I go!

Really.

I'd love to blame females as well and stick with equality, but I've never had this problem before. It's only recently that I've had to share a Unisex toilet between me and twenty-five floors' worth of my closest friends. I honestly don't know how they did it on Ally McBeal.

What's that old expression? 'If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seaty!'

Something to remember, boys...