Manners, They Are Your Friend; Bursting The Bubble.

I'm one of those people that likes their personal space. I dislike being touched by people I don't know and I dislike being touched unnecessarily. The generally accepted theory is that, if you stretch your arm out directly in front of you, you shouldn't be able to touch the person you're speaking to. If you can touch them, they're too close and disrespecting the bubble.

Unless, of course, you're sleeping with them.

But that's another article altogether.

Now, as someone that worships at the alter of the bubble and all things pertaining to ones personal space, there's another side to the coin that annoys the snot out of me; Why don't people understand that it's ridiculously annoying to have to accommodate someone that would more thank likely not do the same? Why must there be so many stupid people that we're forced to deal with each day?

Maybe a better question is; The Definition Of Personal Space. What, exactly, is it?

Aside from the body bubble, how else do you define personal space? Is it my desk at work? My entire house? Exactly one half of the seat on the bus/train (I know it never works like this, but just pretend it does.)?

Well, whatever it is, I can name just a few things that it sure isn't;

- Sidewalk. How many times do you see couples stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, kissing and hugging and being far too affectionate for your poor pre-coffee eyes? Worse, not only do you have to put up with the reminder that either you're not that happy or your partner isn't with you, you also have to dodge them. And you have to resist the urge to give them a 'friendly' nudge out of the way. I'm as much a fan of Public Display's Of Affection as the next person, but at least try not to be inconvenient for the rest of the world.

- Doorway. Seriously, who stands in the entry to a room, leans on the doorframe, and expects that people won't be annoyed? And, really, how can you be obtuse enough to take up that much space and not notice the people that try to get past you, rolling their eyes and sighing?

- Public bathrooms. When you're done with what you went in to do, get out. You don't need to listen to me pee any more than I need to feel like I have an audience and should thus be putting on some kind of show for you entertainment. If you don't, I'm going to spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to 'go' to a tune, just to freak you out.

- Public Transport. It's designed to get you from Point A to Point B and not much else. If you want to bring something to keep yourself entertained, more power to you. I do it too. But it's not your living room. Your feat don't go on seats, your bags don't take up seats, you don't have a three-course meals and you don't use an empty seat for your Laptop's mouse. For the love of everything holy, unless you can show me a second ticket for your feet/bags/dinner/mouse, I am going to ask you to move.

- Stairways. Holy buckets people, how stupid can you get? Loitering in stairways is a huge no. It's dangerous, it's annoying and if you're less-than-able-bodied, it can be downright scary. And I secretly hope there's an emergency evacuation every time I see you all sitting there.

- Umbrellas. It's a seasonal one for you but, unless you're the size of a house or you're assisting five little old ladies, a golf umbrella in the city is not necessary. Ever.

Here's a live one for you; I just returned from getting my afternoon coffee. As I stood and waited for them to make it for me, a gentleman decided that he would stand behind me and stretch his neck over my shoulder to look at the window display, as opposed to politely asking me to step aside. (Which I would have done if I'd noticed him before I realized he was about an inch from my face.)

Sorry buddy, my shoulder is not your personal space.

It seems, to me, completely insane that people can be so thoughtless to assume that their personal space equates to whatever square of the world they're occupying at the time. Or whatever square of the world I'm occupying, as the case may be.

I'm not suggesting that the entire world would become all peace, love and mung beans, but if we could just be a little bit more considerate of every one else, wouldn't life be easier? Besides, if you're doing something irritating, chances are that the people you annoy will far outnumber you. Who wants to take those odds in a fight?

Not me.

But the Bubble rule still stands.