Service With A Smile Part 1 - The Customer Is Always Right.

For all of my working life, I've been employed in customer service in one way or another. I did the check-out chick stint in High School, I've done Hospitality and I've done office-based Customer Service.

Because of this, I've come to know what I'm entitled to as a customer and what kind of service is just unacceptable on so many levels.

So, here are a few tips to businesses, from the point of a customer.

- Remember, in one way or another, I'm paying your wage. I expect to be spoken to with respect and courtesy.

- If I have a complaint to make, I expect that you'll listen to me. I expect that you'll offer a solution. And I expect that you will tell me straight up if you're not the person I should be speaking with.

- I know what good food is. I know what food is supposed to look like. If you are going to serve me something that I am unhappy with, you need to listen to me and rectify the situation. (A recent experience with ordering a croissant comes to mind - the lady took it out of the pre-packaged plastic bag and wondered why I was unimpressed with paying for something I could have got at a supermarket myself. She then proceeded to put butter and jam on it for me.)

- For the love of God, smile. Really. If you're in a fact-to-face industry, I expect a smile. I expect you to greet me and, when I return the greeting, I expect you to answer me if I ask how you are. No, I don't really care (And you don't care about my answer either, really), but it's polite to at least respond.

- If a product is faulty, I expect you to deal with it. I should never have to call the manufacturer, or anyone else you want to palm me off onto. If I purchase a product from you then it is your responsibility to ensure you're not selling faulty goods. I will fight you on this and, if past experience is anything to go by, I will win.

- Never admit you've made a mistake unless you're prepared to do something about it. If you're not prepared to fix your mistake, admitting to it is only shooting yourself in the foot and giving me ammunition for the department of fair trading. It'll also make me even angrier than I am now. Think about it.

- Just because I don't know the ins and outs of whatever your business is, does not mean that I'm not entitled to be treated fairly and appropriately.

- The service industry is a very social one, but don't spend more time with your colleagues than your customers. We don't appreciate that.

- If I approach you with a relaxed attitude, I expect something similar (but still professional) in return. Likewise, if I approach you with a stick in an uncomfortable place, feel free to return the sentiments.

- Don't take the last customer's nobbishness out on me. It's not fair and you wouldn't let me do it to you either.

- When you say you'll call me back, I expect you to nominate a time. If you can't be specific, I expect you to nominate a day. When I call you two days after this date, I expect you to be apologetic.

- Unless you have some kind of specific signage to indicate that you don't give out refunds or exchanges, I don't expect to get grief when I need to return something.

- When leaving a store, I'm more than happy to let you check my bags. But don't be rude about it, don't talk to me like I'm yet another petty thief and don't look put-out if you have to wait a moment while I try and open one of my fifteen bags.

- If your store has an express lane, regulate it. One of the biggest pet peeves of mine is to duck into a store for two things and jump into the “express” aisle only to note that the nob in front of me has a basketful of items and the check-out operator isn't going to do squat about it.

- We live in an instantaneous world, populated by a generation that grew up wanting everything now. So, you need to be quick about what you do. I understand that, particularly with food, there can be a delay, but it needs to be an acceptable amount of time, otherwise I'm going to walk out.

- With a take-away coffee, if you make me wait more than ten minutes without having a large amount of people also waiting, I'm going to leave.

- Another coffee one; I understand that if you don't drink coffee, it can be very hard to make a good cup. Having said this, you should be appreciative of the fact that I'm prepared to tell you if the coffee is bad and you need to rectify it. If you continue to ignore my suggestion, I'll go elsewhere.

- Customers talk to each other. Some even write articles on the web. Word of mouth advertising is impossible to regulate. If you do your job right, though, this isn't something you're going to have to worry about.

- By all means, be a salesperson. However, the second you try and push me into buying something, or appear to be only interested in getting my credit card number, I am going to walk away.

- Don't look perturbed when I ask for something that you think is too hard to do. For example, a friend of mine recently ordered a salad roll and had the sandwich-maker roll her eyes when my friend asked for a specific type of roll. There's being demanding and then there's asking for what you're paying for. Learn the difference.

- Similarly, don't make me feel guilty for your mistake. A coffee maker recently made me feel utterly horrid for requesting a specific type of milk. The situation went south when she gave me the wrong kind and I had to ask them to make me a new one. In this case, I did it because of an allergy. Even so, if I order something specific, my expectation is that you will either get it right or continue re-making it until you do.

- Keep in mind that the people you're dealing with are human, too, and deserve to be treated as such. Some things are out of your control and I may have to accept that as an answer, which I will, as long you can accept the same from me.

I like to try to remember that, as a customer, I'm probably talking to someone that's already dealt with fifteen nobs that day. But I have my own nobs to whine about and I don't need to be another notch on their belt.

Something to think about.