The Sound of Silence

 "Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence"

Seems to me I've spent most of this life talking to God asking for directions, guidance, instructions, patience, forgiveness, kindness, mercy and love ... a bottomless well of requests. And yet today, after my yoga practice with Les, it suddenly dawns on me - When do I ever give God the opportunity to talk to me? More importantly, how do I allow for God's conversation?

As I mentally scan the contents of past years, I recognize a pattern of external observation whereby I expect God's language to materialize and appear as if by magic through familiar senses. And though I confess to believing in the power of miracles through godly magic, I am illuminated to the awareness of just how heavily I rely on what my eyes perceive. It is human nature to rely on one physical sense more than the others. For me it is eyesight. Even in my intuitive work it is through the eyes and the eye that I perceive.

I have delayed the process of active meditation, the art of sitting quietly in silence, in spite of being romanced by its constant melancholic hum. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Perhaps I'll meditate tomorrow. And yet tomorrow, like a dog chasing its tail, is filled with unfulfilled requests, promises, and demands of yesterday. The art of sitting quietly, waiting for God's instructions never comes. And so I am vastly rude to my creator with a constant barrage of requests yet never giving the space or time for answers in ways other than how I expect them to be received.

Forgiveness. Oh yes. I definitely need to be forgiven. What an awful host I have become inviting the power, energy and love of God into my heart only to push him away at every turn while simultaneously refusing his one request. Silence, to sit in silence and wait with grace, the same kind of grace I am given by God.  Instead, I am an injured lion roaring loudly, praying for relief and tearing the limbs off those who reach out to help me.

God has but one request of me, and that is to listen with internal sight and sound. When I focus on the breath and concentrate to still the mind, the heart opens and receives. It then transmits God's message to me. Only in silence can the voice of God be heard.

Today, today, today. Why put off tomorrow what can be done today?